i don’t ever need anyone else because i have my butt i just want to squeeze it all day i love u so much butt you slice of ghetto heaven
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- me: mum i wanna skip college tomorrow so you're gonna have to ring in and pretend i'm sick
- mum: ok but what shall i say? i've gone through nearly every illness that's ever existed
- me: just say i have stomach ache or the flu or something
- 2 hours later
- mum on the phone: yeah he's got explosive, violent diarrhoea. he has shit all over the walls and ceiling and he's puking like a fountain. he's collapsed in the bathroom in a pile of his own piss, shit and vomit. he won't be able to come in today
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what if mario didnt have a mustache
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(Source: fandomhopper, via tlyudacris)
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